Kusanagi's New Apartment
by Humor Queen Merc
Summary: Omake! Omake! Omake! Kusanagi gets a new apartment from the government. However, when he's told to decorate, how do the women of the TAC handle the task?


Author's Notes – Phew, it's been quite awhile since I wrote a new omake. Poor Blue Seed, it's so neglected in the fanfiction department. This fic was made possible by the people at Schally's Blue Seed Message Board. They're the ones that came up with all the ideas, and the item purchased by Kusanagi is the result of a very long debate on the message board. A shout out to KusanIvy, kusanagischick, crimsonkitsune, bewitchingchild, Schally, and everyone else on the message board. Seedlings forever baby!

By – Merc

Disclaimer – Hello Kitty and Friends, Sailor Moon, and Blue Seed all do not belong to me. Suck on that lawyers.

Additional Author's Note – This fic takes place after Blue Seed and before Blue Seed 2.

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**Kusanagi's**** New Apartment**

Kusanagi looked into the large empty room and sighed. The smell of the freshly cleaned and recently renovated room wafted into his nose. 

            "Well?" Kunikida asked, awaiting Kusanagi's decision. Momiji stood next to her boyfriend, clutching onto his arm. She looked around with wide-eyed awe. A new apartment for Kusanagi! Kusanagi, on the other hand, looked less than thrilled.

            "Er, it's nice, I guess." Kusanagi said with a shrug as he walked into the center of the room and looked up at the ceiling. 

            "I guess?" Kunikida echoed with curiosity,

            "Well, why did you guys do this for me?" Kusanagi asked as he walked up to the wall and lightly punched it, checking the thickness.

            "Well, the Aragami may be gone for now, but that doesn't mean that we won't need your assistance sometime in the future. This way you'll have a permanent state of residence so we'll know where to reach you," Kunikida explained expertly.

            "Reach me?" 

            "If we need to call you or mail something to you, we'll know where we can reach you," Kunikida elaborated.

            "But I don't have any money," Kusanagi pointed out, "I can't afford phone service…or a phone." 

            "The government will take care of all your necessary costs and concerns," Kunikida explained as he handed him a government-issued credit card.

            "Aw Kusanagi, isn't this exciting? Your own place!" Momiji squealed in delight as she ran into the room and spun around.

            "Uh…what am I gonna put in here?" Kusanagi asked, more concerned with his new living quarters than what his girlfriend thought of it.

            "That's right. We have to DECORATE!" Momiji yelled with excitement as she posed, Kusanagi and Kunikida sweatdropping at the display. 

"Oh yes, before I forget, the credit card I just gave you has a 10,000 dollar limit on it. Spend it on the necessary furniture that you need," Kunikida explained. Momiji's jaw hit the floor and her eyes grew as wide as saucers.

"TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS?! WAI!!!" Momiji practically shrieked as her mind ran away with all of the decorating possibilities. Kusanagi shot Kunikida a you-just-had-to-say-that-out-loud-with-a-girl-present look. 

"You just _had to mention the credit limit, didn't you?  Kusanagi asked sarcastically. Kunikida shot Kusanagi a sly grin._

"Think of the possibilities! Oh, we'll put a bed over here, and a lamp over here, and oh! We have to put a rug there and a totally cute dresser here and we have to do something with these walls and these windows. Hm, what kind of colors would work here? And here? How about wallpaper? Should we carpet? And what about pets? Or a welcome mat? Or, or, or…" Momiji went on as she ran around the room, pad of paper now in hand and her pen quickly writing notes. 

            "This isn't why you brought her along, was it?" Kusanagi whispered to Kunikida. Kunikida simply looked at Kusanagi and smiled.

            "**That's-not-why-she's-here-right**?" Kusanagi asked, accentuating each and every syllable in order to make his point.

            "Oh would you look at the time? Gotta go, have fun, bye!" Kunikida said as he quickly ran out the door and down the hallway. 

            "That is so cruel," Kusanagi muttered under his breath. 

            "What did you say?" Momiji asked, catching his light utterance.

            "Uh, I said this is so cool!" Kusanagi said sheepishly as he rubbed the back of his head. Momiji shrugged and went back into her decorating mode. Kusanagi looked around the room a bit longer, contemplating the size and structure, when Momiji ran up behind him and latched onto his arm.

            "KUSANAGI!!!" She screamed, scaring him half out of his wits.

            "ACK!!! What?" 

            "We need to go!" Momiji exclaimed,

            "Go where…?" Kusanagi asked, afraid of the answer he was about to hear.

            "**Shopping**!" Momiji shouted as she posed, her arm above her head and her fingers in a "v" shape. 

            "Oh God no." Kusanagi said,

            "Oh, I hope you don't mind, I invited Ms. Ryoko and Koume and Ms. Matsudaira to come along as well. Tee hee!" Momiji giggled as she half-dragged Kusanagi out the door,

            "Tee hee my ass," Kusanagi muttered underneath his breath in exasperation as he allowed himself to be lead out by his one and only girlfriend. 

            Around noon of that day, the women of the TAC met at a restaurant to eat and discuss what they needed to buy.

            "We definitely need a bed," Matsudaira pointed out.

            "And covers to go over the bed," Ryoko added.

            "Hell, we need a really big couch!" Koume declared, much to everyone's confusion. 

            "What was the credit limit on that thing again?" Ryoko asked,

            "Ten thousand dollars, American," Momiji answered as she looked over the card. Matsudaira's eyes nearly bugged out of her skull.

            "Ten thousand DOLLARS?! That's one million, one hundred and seventy eight thousand, seven hundred ninety-nine YEN!" Matsudaira exclaimed, causing everyone in sight to sweatdrop.

            "Well aren't you quick on the conversions," Koume commented. Kusanagi, who all the meanwhile had tried to remain obscure, gave a slight huff. Life was not going his way right now. 

            "Aw, cheer up Kusanagi, this'll be fun!" Momiji said as she wrapped her hand around his. Kusanagi stared at his food as though it were the most interesting thing he'd ever seen.

            "Well then, shall we get going ladies?" Ryoko asked as she stood up. With a resounding "yes!" everyone left to go shopping, starting off at a furniture store.

            "Hm, should he have a twin-size, queen-size, or king-size bed?" Momiji wondered out loud,

            "Whatever happened to a single?" Kusanagi interjected,

            "Well," Momiji blushed, "Where'll I sleep when I come over then?" Kusanagi turned twenty shades of red while Ryoko blanched and Koume whistled. 

            "I'll pretend I never heard that," Ryoko said. Upon settling on a single four-post bed, the women moved on towards the nightstands.

            "Ooooooooohhhhh! Victoria style! Or how about Baroque?" Matsudaira commented in wonderment as she searched the many styles of nightstands.

            "Whatever happened to a normal non-fancy-shmancy-doily nightstand?" Koume asked as she knocked on an elegant, white, Victorian-style nightstand.

            "Good question," Kusanagi agreed as he looked around like a lost puppy, suddenly, his eyes spied a nice, plain nightstand. Walking over to it, Kusanagi looked it over and hailed the women to his discovery.

            "I like this one," Kusanagi said.

            "I don't," Momiji argued. 

            "It's my room," Kusanagi argued back.

            "It's too plain!" Momiji said disagreeably,

            "It's too boring," Ryoko agreed.

            "It's too dull," Matsudaira added. When Koume didn't say anything, everyone turned and looked in her direction.

            "What?" Koume asked as she backed up. Kusanagi gave her a pleading look. "Argh, just get the damn nightstand, it is plant-boy's room after all." Kusanagi shot her a smile, Koume shot him a death-glare. Suddenly, she looked down at her watch.

            "Wow, it's three already? Three hours just for a stupid bed and nightstand? We'll never get this all done in one day," Koume sighed.

            "Maybe we should split up," Matsudaira suggested.

            "Good idea Matsu," Ryoko agreed.

            "Fine, how about Kusanagi looks for little knick-knacks and antiques to decorate his room with, Koume looks for a nice dresser, Ryoko looks for wallpaper, Momiji looks for bedsheets and other necessary items like a telephone, and I'll find some nice drapes." Matusdaira said, to which everyone nodded in agreement. "We'll meet at the restaurant we were at for lunch at precisely 7 pm," she instructed as the group approved and split off, each going their own separate ways.

            Ryoko made her way across the plaza as she looked for a home improvements store. All the meanwhile, she had been thinking about what kind of color suited Kusanagi.

            "Green of course," she said to herself as she spied a small paint store across the way. Walking inside, Ryoko was greeted by a small man on her right.

            "Hello miss, and how may we help you today?" The man politely asked,

            "I'm looking for some wallpaper," Ryoko stated.

            "What kind of wallpaper?" 

            "I don't really know, something green I guess," Ryoko said with a shrug.

            "May I ask for what kind of room this is for?"

            "I'm helping a friend decorate his new apartment. He's pretty big into plants. So I guess something that's green, but not too light. Also, it can't be too dark, and not the normal green-green, but something more foliage-green. You know, with a tiny hint of blue hue, but not too much that it's a sort of sea-greenish. Also, it can't be plain, but it can't have very many patterns on it either, plus I need it to keep its shade no matter the sun is shining on it or not," Ryoko explained. The man gave her a blank stare. 

            "Er…let me show you the isle with the green wallpaper, and let you decide for yourself," The man said as he led her down. 

            Ryoko stared at the isle in amazement. So many hues! Wandering up and down the isle many times, Ryoko grabbed a few that seemed to stick out as something Kusanagi would like, and compared them. Somehow though, they all just seemed too boring. Ryoko gave a heavy sigh as she put all the wallpaper samples back and looked around some more. Suddenly, one sample in the very back caught her eye. 

            "How did I miss this?" Ryoko asked herself as she pulled out the sample. "Oh how positively adorable! How darling. This is _perfect_!" She exclaimed as she walked over to the counter to acquire the actual wallpaper and plaster. 

            Koume shuffled around the dresser isle of the furniture store, absent-mindedly looking around. 

            "I can't believe I agreed to help out with this. How boring," Koume said to herself as she walked over to a French-style dressed and gave the leg a kick. The leg promptly flew off and the dresser tumbled over. Koume glanced over her shoulders to see if anyone had seen the incident, and then ran off to the other end of the isle.

            "Stupid weak dresser is so stupid weak this is stupid I hate stupid shopping stupid for stupid Kusanagi…" Koume grumbled to herself as she looked over the wide variety of French, Baroque, Victorian, American, English, and Oriental-style dressers. Walking over to an English dresser, Koume opened and closed the drawers. 

            "Sheesh, whatever happened to a plain box with drawers?" Koume hmphed as she continued to scan the store. After walking up and down the display isles for about an hour, she finally settled with one that she liked. 

            "This one ain't too bad," Koume commented as she thought about how the uncharacteristically-plain Victorian-style piece of furniture would look in his room. 

            "It's still too much though," Koume thought out loud. Suddenly, an idea hit her. She was in the army, wasn't she? The army taught her how to build stuff, from guns to mud forts. And she had gotten an A- in woodshop back in the 6th grade. She could buy the dresser and make a few fun alterations to it! Smiling evilly, she went up to the front and hailed the store clerk back with her.

            "I want this one, and don't bother shipping it," Koume said with a grin. This was gonna be fun.

            Matsudaira gave a startled jump when she heard something crash over by the dresser isle of the furniture store. "_Must be Koume," she thought to herself with a shake of her head as she looked back over at the drapes. There were so many designs, she just couldn't decide on one. Matsudaira immediately ruled out any drapes with colors other than green or woodstain on them. _

            "Would he like wooden blinds instead?" Matsudaira asked herself as she walked over to a set of wooden blinds and played around with them. Suddenly, a hinge came loose on one of the single pieces of wood, and with a small crash, it fell, and a cloud of dust flew up in her face. Matsudaira sneezed a few times, then looked back at where the individual blind had gotten loose. To her surprise, she found a small colony of mold growing in the miniature hole where the screw had once been.

            "How very peculiar," Matsudaira said to herself as she whipped out her ever-handy magnifying glass and pad of paper. 

            "Odd, I've never seen a colony of mold grow in such a dry and cramped place before," Matsudaira noted as she began to take furious notes in her notepad. Having completely forgotten about helping Kusanagi decorate his room, she continued to furiously take notes on the small mold colony in the wooden blinds.

            Momiji all the meanwhile had been having no difficulty shopping for her boyfriend. Running through her favorite stores, she picked up what she believed would be a totally cute comforter for his bed to a phone, corkboard, various posters to cover his walls, a couple of large picture frames, a couple of lamps, and a doormat. 

            "These are going to look so _cute_!" Momiji exclaimed to herself as she finished her shopping. Looking down at her watch, she noticed that it was nearly time to meet the rest of the group, and proceeded back to the meeting place. 

            Kusanagi browsed through various antique stores looking for small knick knacks to put in his apartment. Somehow though, nothing really seemed to fit. He needed something studly. Something male. Something that brought out his inner manliness. Suddenly, an item caught his eye, and he brought it up to the purchasing counter. 

            At promptly seven that night everyone met back at the restaurant where they had eaten earlier that day. All of the women were talking excitedly about what they had bought while Kusanagi tried to sink down into his seat and hide from the stares of the other people in the restaurant. 

            "So what kind of wallpaper did you get Ryoko?" Matsudaira asked,

            "Well, it took awhile, but I found this totally cute wallpaper that I thought would be just perfect for Kusanagi's room," Ryoko explained as she pulled out the sample pattern to show the group. Kusanagi blanched and Koume sweatdropped.

            "It's lime green," Koume started.

            "Are those dancing frogs?" Kusanagi asked warily,

            "Not just dancing frogs, but those totally cute frogs from that one show. What is it? Hello Kitty, that's it!" Ryoko said, her face beaming with pride. Kusanagi wanted to die. 

            "Oh how _cute!" Momiji exclaimed, "they fit what I got him perfectly!" _

            "Oh?" Koume asked, afraid of what she was about to hear.

            "Yeah, check out this totally cute comforter I got him," Momiji said as she pulled out a picture of the blanket. Kusanagi turned as green as Ryoko's wallpaper. 

            "A Hello Kitty and Friends comforter?" Matsudaira asked,

            "Uh, it's pink," Kusanagi added.

            "Neon pink," Koume continued as Momiji nodded, a large smile plastered to her face. Not only that, but I got this totally cute pink fuzzy phone to match! Oh, and I got these posters too," Momiji continued as she pulled out a rather large neon-pink, furry telephone along with four posters, each one either containing a character from Sailor Moon on them, or a character from Hello Kitty and Friends. Koume and Kusanagi both looked about ready to throw up from the sugar-pink overload. 

            "Oh, I almost forgot, I also got you a couple of lamps Kusanagi," Momiji said as she pulled out two boxes containing normal looking lamps. Kusanagi sighed in relief, at least the lamps were normal. 

            "I thought the lamps were boring though, so I bought some puff-paint, and I'm gonna personalize them!" Momiji said with pride as she held up a set of puff-paint bottles in every shade of pink, purple, and green under the sun. Kusanagi suddenly had that sinking feeling again. 

            "My Momiji…" Koume started, unsure of what to say amidst all the girliness.

            "Well, what'd you get him Koume?" Momiji asked,

            "I got him a dresser," Koume said plainly.

            "Just a dresser?" Ryoko asked,

            "Yeah."

            "Anything special about it?" Matsudaira asked,

            "Well, there was until I got through with it. Now the only thing that's special about it is that it's not all girly-doily lookin' now." Koume said with a shrug. Kusanagi gave a weak smile, at least one of the women in the TAC wasn't completely out to get him. "Of course, it used to be until I did a bit of work on it. By the way Kusanagi, I kinda messed up on a few parts, so just so you know, one of the legs is missin', so you'll hafta prop it up with a phone book or something. Also, one of the drawers won't shut all the way now, and I kinda broke the mirror, so you'll have to replace that as well. Oh yeah, and before I forget, one side accidentally got sanded down farther than the other, so the drawers on the left stick out farther than the drawers on the right." Kusanagi grunted, there was that sinking feeling again. Momiji chuckled.

            "What're you laughing at? You got hot pink blankets to go with a lime-green room!" Koume retorted as Kusanagi grimaced at the thought. Matsudaira simply chuckled at the sight.

            "What did you get him Matsu?" Ryoko asked, 

            "Well…" Matsudaira said as she began to blush. "I got a bit distracted, so I ended up not having enough time to pick out a good set of blinds for Kusanagi," she said admittedly. Kusanagi let out a sigh of relief.

            "I was wondering what you were lookin' at when I left the store," Koume said.

            "Ah, a very interesting specimen of mold actually. I collected some to analyze back at the lab later on." Koume rolled her eyes at the revalation.

            "Speaking of Kusanagi, what did you get?" Ryoko asked, directing the question at the half-Aragami. Kusanagi looked up and pulled out a single object from his bag, showing it off.

            "What on earth…?" Matsudaira began,

            "What is that thing?" Koume added,

            "Where did you find that?" Ryoko continued,

            "Uh…it's nice Kusanagi," Momiji lied.

            "Is that plaster?" Ryoko asked as Kusanagi looked down at the small object with affection.

            "It's a seagull," Kusanagi said irritably.

            "_THAT'S a seagull?" Momiji asked in shock,_

            "Wow, I thought it was a walrus," Koume admitted. 

            "It looks like a ceramic gargoyle," Matsudaira reveled.

            "I was thinking more along the lines of a plaster manatee," Ryoko said.

            "It's cement," Kusanagi explained as he flicked it with his index finger.

            "Wait, you mean to tell us that with $10,000, you bought a cement seagull?" Momiji asked in shock. Kusanagi nodded. 

            "Where…where will you put that thing exactly?" Koume asked, to which Kusanagi showed them the string that came attached with it, as he hung it off of his thumb and forefinger. Everyone facefaulted. Kusanagi grimiced inwardly. He had a lime-green room with dancing Keropiis in the wall combined with Hello Kitty bed sheets and posters with pink lamps, Sailor Moon pictures, a broken dresser, no blinds, a pink faux fur phone, and a cement seagull. 

            "Oh, I almost forgot!" Momiji piped up as she took yet another item from her bag. The entire group blanched, and Kusanagi mentally banned Momiji from ever shopping for him again.

            "It's your welcome mat. I hope you like it!" Momiji said cheerfully. Kusanagi excused himself to the men's room of the restaurant to vent his anger on a poor, unsuspecting urinal.  

**The End**

Awwwww, poor Kusanagi! For those of you who have seen the first episode of Blue Seed 2, you can spot what the people on Schally's Blue Seed Message Board all call the "cement seagull in his bedroom" scene. Yes, there really is what appears to be a cement seagull hanging from the ceiling. And as always, the obligatory author pleading. **_PLEASE OH PLEASE REVIEW!!! FOR THE LOVE OF KUSANAGI, PLEASE REVIEW!!!_**


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